NEW BEGINNING

I'll be very honest, I suffered depression recently. Yes, what I feared so much and that always blocked my life.

But the reality is that I had very bad times, when I could not even get out of bed.

It was a strong thing because just married you never expect it to happen, but there were days that neither my husband nor anything could make me feel well or not to cry.

Of course I was happy to be married and with the person I love, that was not the issue, it was something personal.

I thought, "it's cold", "not being accustomed to the weather" "it's going to be Christmas" ... and so my pretexts increased, until I faced what I had badly and named: I had very recent a sense of resignation to who I was before, to my work, my friends, my family, my city, my country, life as I conceived it ... All that became depression.

It was a resignation that I accepted, that nobody forced me but that I had not visualized with those consequences.

Why do I tell you this?

We attribute (badly, for lack of information or false beliefs) that people who suffer from depression are weak; some of the people I told about my state only said "you're so lucky to be there, why you feel depressed?" "learn to control it", "cheer up", and more comments like that, but the reality is that even with their good wishes I did not improve.

Thanks to what I felt I began to investigate and found out that depression is normal, that for some time in our life we ​​went through those moments and that there is always help, ALWAYS.

For me the help was from my husband who patiently was with me always, my family, the one who would listen to me and try to understand, to be aware every day and not to judge me, of my psychologist who took me out of my state making me see things or situations that I did not see and from my friends that even at a distance with calls, messages, memes, audios, etc. always wanted to keep me positive. (I will always thank you)

I understood that depression (when it is not due to some chemical decompensation, that is another topic) was largely dependent on me "taking the bull by the horns", learning to control my mind, learning to experience my moments of sadness but not staying there, to my longing is nothing wrong, but I can not live from that, my resignation is to win other things that I did not see at the time and know how to adjust to the changes that bring life.

So I received the new me, with the changes that were already present, (it took me a while with its ups and downs) accepting that my life changed and that we are always in constant evolution, that attachments are not always good and that the letting go is fine.

I think we all go through moments in life that fill us with that feeling of depression, I had friends or family members living that and I did not know how to help them, now I understand that my good vibes are not all they need to get ahead, which is a personal work but that helps to be heard and not judged, that we will never be in the shoes of the other and that maybe our vulnerabilities are not the same, but that we can always help.

I learned to stop stigmatizing depression and learn that my vulnerability does not make me weak, it requires a lot of will, strength and in my case ovaries to get out of bad times or depression itself.

Returning to my country for a season filled me with energy and love, from receiving my dogs, seeing and hugging my family, being with my friends arranging the world as always, all this makes me see and understand that routine is no longer a part of my life, my life is now in another place, in a different country and a bit difficult but not impossible, helped me to confirm that I have a man by my side so patient and loving that in my bad times He never let go of my side, and not because I'm not physically close to the people I love they are not in my life. So, ripening sometimes hurts and it may cost a lot to change our scheme, but it is in ourselves (with help) that we can achieve it.

I leave knowing that in life many times we will not be in one place surrounded by ours, but I also understand and accept that it is okay, they are with me always and now more thanks to the blessed technology!

So I open my heart and arms to receive everything that comes from this new beginning.